Celebrating My Wedding Anniversary!
Today is my wedding anniversary! (insert playing of celebration style song and boogie dance)! Marriage has been life changing and transforming. My vocation has grown me and stretched me in ways I didn’t know were possible. It hasn’t all been hallmark card and butterflies but I know that love is not based on emotions but rather a choice to love in happiness and sadness.
I’ve learned countless lessons, but I wanted to share some that have helped me to grow in my vocation.
My husband can’t read my mind. Really! This is not a joke. It’s taken me years to realize that he’s not in my head, that he doesn’t know my every thought or emotion. He does desire to honor me but he needs me to tell him what I need and how I feel. This is not to say that he’ll always do what I want or that he needs to relate to how I feel, but simply that part of our relationship is communication and with that come a detachment to reaction.
I can detach from my husband’s feelings and reactions. His feelings are not always my feelings and vice versa. There have been times when I’ve needed to tell him how I felt about a situation and he didn’t agree with me, in fact he may have viomently opposed my opinion. As long as I share what I feel is necessary for me to share, I can not control how others respond. This goes for parenting too, but that’s another blog for another day.
My loves grows when I love my husband and allow him to love me. We're different people with different thoughts and opinions. Yes, this seems to be a reoccuring theme, that’s because I believe it goes across all facets of our marriage. When I reach out to honor my husband or do something special for him, my love for him grows. I wrote a blog a few months back, about how sometimes I send him emails about reasons that I love him. I thought that project would be something for him, but it became more about me realizing and and appreciating the ways that I love him. Allowing people to love me, can be tricky for me. I decide how they are to love and how they are to show me or prove to me that they love me. There have been plenty of times that my husband has tried to something nice for me but I didn’t receive it because it wasn’t my preference. I realized I need to take into account his intentions and allow him to love me in his own way.
Love can be fun. I love to laugh with my husband. We love to bug each other and make things a playful competition. We enjoy spending time together, even if it’s just sitting on the couch after a long day.
Date night is a must! We’ve still got small kids at home and our family budget doesn’t always allow us to go out, but we’ve at least made it a priority to have “at home” date nights. We might order from grub hub or grab some cheap tacos. We put the kids to bed and let them know that it’s date night so mommy and daddy will be spending time together. I do want to clarify that date night, doesn’t need to be a night, it can be time spent during the day together, or done in any variety of ways. I am just a big believer that my husband and I can get caught up in the daily business of lives and we enjoy taking time to reconnect with each other.
Copyright 2019 Courtney Vallejo All Rights Reserved
Image Credit Copyright 2019 Erin Gleeson. All Rights Reserved